So I was cooking dinner last night, and I got to thinking about the part where I would need to take that can of tuna sitting on the counter, open it up, and mix it in. Try to ignore the fact that the dinner I was cooking involved canned tuna for a second and lemme run with this...
^^this was the moment where I realized that every can of anything that was ever opened at my previous place-called-home was not opened with my trusty can opener that would be in the drawer to the left of the stove, because I do not have a trusty can opener in the drawer to the left of the stove. What I had was an amazing automatic electric can opener underneath one of the cabinets which is still nestled under said cabinet, 3 miles away, probably being enjoyed by the new tenant.
I looked at the stove timer...t-minus 7 minutes 33 seconds to dry, overcooked orzo. Folks, what I'm about to tell you is a true story based on real life events and, quite possibly, full blown singular justification for my choice of The Paramount as my current place-called-home.
In 7 minutes and 33 seconds I was able to:
- stop panicking
- throw on jeans and a tee
- grab my wallet, a belt, my cell (because I'm neurotic), and flippies
- set the timer on my iPod for 7 minutes
- hop the elevator downstairs to Publix
- check the timer
- find the can openers in Publix
- make the excruciatingly difficult choice of which can opener to buy (if you've ever been shopping with me, you know that this was inescapable)
- check the timer (I've still got time)
- second-guess my choice
- check the timer (okay cutting it close now)
- purchase said can opener (which, in hindsight, was definitely the right one to get)
- check the timer (holy crap!)
- run down the sidewalk, wave hello to a business acquaintance (can opener in hand)
- hop the elevator back to my place
- open tuna; drain, stir, continue to simmer
Dinner was horrible, but by no means was that due to dry, overcooked orzo or a lack of tuna because I couldn't get the can open. Nope, I'm gonna go ahead and fess up to my apparent lack of culinary skills. Word on the block is I can follow instructions real well but the minute I try and get creative I can pretty much count on being disappointed.
So there ya go. CONVENIENCE - proof positive.
Life in DtO - 1
Life in the 'burbs - 0
COUNT IT!!


