So I was cooking dinner last night, and I got to thinking about the part where I would need to take that can of tuna sitting on the counter, open it up, and mix it in. Try to ignore the fact that the dinner I was cooking involved canned tuna for a second and lemme run with this...
^^this was the moment where I realized that every can of anything that was ever opened at my previous place-called-home was not opened with my trusty can opener that would be in the drawer to the left of the stove, because I do not have a trusty can opener in the drawer to the left of the stove. What I had was an amazing automatic electric can opener underneath one of the cabinets which is still nestled under said cabinet, 3 miles away, probably being enjoyed by the new tenant.
I looked at the stove timer...t-minus 7 minutes 33 seconds to dry, overcooked orzo. Folks, what I'm about to tell you is a true story based on real life events and, quite possibly, full blown singular justification for my choice of The Paramount as my current place-called-home.
In 7 minutes and 33 seconds I was able to:
- stop panicking
- throw on jeans and a tee
- grab my wallet, a belt, my cell (because I'm neurotic), and flippies
- set the timer on my iPod for 7 minutes
- hop the elevator downstairs to Publix
- check the timer
- find the can openers in Publix
- make the excruciatingly difficult choice of which can opener to buy (if you've ever been shopping with me, you know that this was inescapable)
- check the timer (I've still got time)
- second-guess my choice
- check the timer (okay cutting it close now)
- purchase said can opener (which, in hindsight, was definitely the right one to get)
- check the timer (holy crap!)
- run down the sidewalk, wave hello to a business acquaintance (can opener in hand)
- hop the elevator back to my place
- open tuna; drain, stir, continue to simmer
Dinner was horrible, but by no means was that due to dry, overcooked orzo or a lack of tuna because I couldn't get the can open. Nope, I'm gonna go ahead and fess up to my apparent lack of culinary skills. Word on the block is I can follow instructions real well but the minute I try and get creative I can pretty much count on being disappointed.
So there ya go. CONVENIENCE - proof positive.
Life in DtO - 1
Life in the 'burbs - 0
COUNT IT!!
You, my friend, are awesome. Just thought you'd like to know.
ReplyDeletefreaking hilarious...
ReplyDeleteand really, Ipod's have timers? Who knew!
Foxy, is that you?! Or is this another Foxy coming outta left field with an awesome ego-boosting comment? Regardless, thank you :).
ReplyDeleteTash, the iPod Touch has everything under the sun! Need to make a mad dash to save the dinner that's probably not worth saving in the first place? "There's an app for that."
oh man! what a coinkidink, i dont have a can opener either! i went home for lunch to think i was going to enjoy some scrumptious tuna only to realize i tossed my can openers before moving...and i havent purchased a publix one yet b/c i want a super awesome one, so i need to take my time selecting the perfect can opener! haha which did you decide to go with at publix?
ReplyDeleteso i bought a can opener last night at tj maxx (sodo) $10 for a $16 can opener, i froogled it before deciding on my purchase haha a kuhn rikon
ReplyDeletehttp://kuhnrikon.com/images/database/product_glam_205_1.png
maybe a lil much for just a can opener...but im with you i took my time selecting one! i even read a review on it hahahah
i bought a fairly simple variety...chrome with black ribbed plastic handles. smooth mechanism, solid handle with, for some strange reason, two identical can puncture/bottle opener things. maybe it was found in product testing they are prone to wearing out, so they duplicated the mechanism on the other side? Knowing Publix, they would specify such a convenience.
ReplyDeleteyours looks pretty rad, Surina, but I'm afraid that it's a bit too girly for me, and also doesn't look like a good fit for my hands. seriously it's all about ergonomics with a can opener, cuz i don't want to be 35 with arthritis because I eat too much chicken of the sea.
hahaha its ergo tho! they have manly colored ones! hahah but yea i opted on the non traditional look :P gosh are we still talking about can openers? hahahaha there has to be more to downtown life!
ReplyDeleteoh, there is definitely more downtown life - I'm just not living it right now due to some serious exhaustion. eating mac'n'cheese'n'ham from 310 Lakeside right now, that's about as exciting as it gets these days.
ReplyDelete